文字难度：★★★
These are tough economic times in America and elsewhere. If you're like me, you're saving money any way you can. I've cancelled my 2)cable, invested in a good pair of 3)binoculars and started watching my neighbor's TV. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
现在美国经济正处于艰难时期，其他地方也一样。如果你像我，也处于这种境况，你肯定会绞尽脑汁去省钱。我取消了有线电视服务，花钱买了一副不错的望远镜，开始看我邻居家的电视。非常时期就得采取非常措施。
In this harsh economic climate, it's important to have a job, any job. But finding a job isn't easy, especially since so many companies are giving their employees—even the male ones—4)pink slips. Competition for jobs is so intense that chess 5)champ 6)Vishwanathan Anand has been flooded with applications, all because someone wrote that he has “good openings.”
在这么艰难的经济环境下，有一份工作是非常重要的，无论是什么工作。但找一份工作不容易，特别是有那么多公司都给他们的雇员发出“粉红纸片（解雇通知书）”——即使是男雇员也会收到。求职竞争的激烈程度可以参照国际象棋大师维斯瓦纳坦·阿南德的情况，他最近快被无数的应聘信给淹没了，这一切皆源于有人写他有“好的空缺职位（开局）”。（编者注：“opening”既指象棋的“开局”，也有“空缺职位”之意。）
With all the competition, it's vital for job seekers to give themselves an edge. That's why I've decided to offer a few tips to help people stand out from the crowd. Some of these tips may seem obvious, but, trust me, they're often overlooked.
竞争对手如云，求职者给自己增加一些优势是很重要的。所以我决定提供一些提示，帮助大家脱颖而出。某些提示可能看起来显而易见，但是，相信我，它们经常都被忽视了。
Tip #1: Learn to speak English. When the economy was strong, some folks were able to find decent jobs in America by knowing just three words of English: “Me want job.” Others, realizing the importance of grammar, tried a little harder: “Me wants job.” These days, three words of English aren't enough to secure a job in any part of America outside 7)Miami. Job seekers must learn at least six words, particularly these six: “Would you like 8)fries with that?” They may seem like easy words, but some immigrants really struggle with them. A few have been fired from fast-food restaurants for repeatedly asking customers, “Would you like flies with that?” The restaurants, as you can imagine, received many customer complaints, such as the one from a 9)West Virginia man who threw his meal at the manager, shouting: “I thought I was getting flies with my 10)burger, not fries.”
提示一：学讲英语。经济繁荣的时候，一些人仅仅凭着这三个英语单词：“Me want job（我要工作）”就可以在美国找到体面的工作。而其他那些意识到语法重要性的人，则会稍稍努力一下，说出：“Me wants job（我想要工作）”。但这些年头里，在美国的任何一个地方，迈阿密除外，这三个英语单词已经不足以用来保住工作了。求职者一定要学会至少六个英语单词，特别是这六个：“Would you like fries with that？（你喜欢配炸薯条吗？）”这些词看起来可能很简单，但有些移民真的拿这几个单词没辙。有些在快餐店工作的人就因为反复询问顾客“你喜欢配‘苍蝇'吗”而被解雇了。你可以想象一下，那些餐馆收到了多少顾客的投诉，甚至于有个来自西维吉尼亚州的男人将他的餐食直接扔向经理，吆喝道：“不是说这汉堡的配菜是苍蝇吗，咋又配薯条了。”
Tip #2: Go easy on the tattoos and 11)body piercing. Two or three are OK, but when your entire body is green, the only people you're likely to impress are environmentalists. Well, perhaps a few others too, but they probably won't offer you a job, unless one of them is a farmer and, with planting season coming around, needs another 12)scarecrow. (Yes, I know: some tattoos are works of art. In fact, Leonardo Da Vinci first tattooed the Mona Lisa on a friend's backside. Unfortunately 13)nipple rings weren't common in those days, so he couldn't hang his friend in a gallery.)
提示二：少弄点纹身，少穿几个环。两三个是可以接受的，但是如果你浑身上下都纹得青青绿绿的，能取悦的也就只有那些环保人士了。嗯，可能还有那么一些人会对你印象深刻的，但他们很可能不会给你一份工作，除非他们之中有人是个农场主，正值农忙季节，需要多一个稻草人。（是的，我知道：有一些纹身是艺术品。事实上，列奥纳多·达·芬奇最开始是把《蒙娜·丽莎》纹在一个朋友的后背上的。很不幸的是乳环在那时候还不普遍，所以他没法把朋友挂在画廊里。）