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爱玛 Emma(3)

 
  
  Confession 因错得爱
  
  (Mr. Knightley comes to visit the Woodhouse.)
  Mr. Knightley: Time, Emma, will heal the wound. 18)Abominable 19)scoundrel! They will soon be gone to Yorkshire. I feel sorry for her!
  Emma: You are talking of Mr. Churchill and Miss Fairfax?
  Mr. Knightley: Mmm.
  Emma: I, er...I must put the record straight. You are mistaken if you feel I am in need of your compassion. No. No, honestly. I was blind to their...20)attachment, and I blush when I think of some of the things that I said and did. But please believe me when I say that I have no other reason to regret I did not know their secret earlier.
  Mr. Knightley: I have to confess, I was not quite sure how far you were 21)entangled. However small your regard, he did not deserve it. He's a disgrace to the name of man.
  Emma: I am ashamed of my conduct. My vanity was flattered. When he first came back I...I thought I was attracted to him but I have been examining the workings of my heart and I can, truly, say this: he has taken advantage of me...but he has not injured me.
  Mr. Knightley: Frank Churchill is a fortunate man. He finds an ideal mate, his aunt is in the way, his aunt dies. He has used everybody badly, yet they are all desperate to forgive him.
  Emma: You speak as though you envied him.
  Mr. Knightley: I do envy him, Emma. His secret is out at least. You will not ask me my secret? Yes, you are wise, but I cannot be, so...I must tell you.
  Emma: No, please, don't tell me! Take a little time to think of what you are going to say. For once said, it cannot be unsaid!
  Mr. Knightley: I will obey you.
  (Mr. Knightley leaves.)
  Emma: Wait. Wait! Please, stop! I am sorry. We are old friends. I will hear anything you want...about anyone. And I will tell you exactly what I think, as your friend.
  Mr. Knightley: I don't...Friends indeed! I do want you to be honest. So, tell me. Have I no chance of succeeding? My dearest Emma...for that is what you always have been, and you always will be...My most beloved Emma. I cannot make speeches. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. I have lectured you and scolded you...and you have borne it as no other woman would have.
  Emma: Can this be true?
  Mr. Knightley: You'll get nothing but the truth from me. So tell me what you think.
  Emma: I find...I do not know what to think.
  
  (奈特利先生造访伍德豪斯一家。)
  奈特利先生:爱玛,时间会治愈你的伤口的。这小子真是个流氓!他们很快会去约克郡了。我真替她惋惜!
  爱玛:你是指丘吉尔先生和费尔法克斯小姐吗?
  奈特利先生:对。
  爱玛:我,嗯……我得把话说明白。要是你觉得我需要你的安慰,那你就想错了。不,不,我是说真的。我确实没看出他俩有……私情,想起自己的所作所为,我真是有些脸红,但是请相信我,我并未因自己没早点得知这个秘密感到怨恨。
  奈特利先生:我得承认,我不知你对他投入的感情有多少。可哪怕只有一丁点儿,他也是丝毫配不上的。他丢尽了我们男人的脸。
  爱玛:我对自己的行为感到惭愧。他满足了我的虚荣心。当他第一次回来时,我……我以为自己喜欢上了他,但我思前想后,扪心自问,我可以肯定地说,他确实是利用了我……但他并没有伤害我。
  奈特利先生:弗兰克·丘吉尔真是幸运。他找到意中人时,他舅妈反对,后来他舅妈就过世了。他卑劣地利用了每一个人,可大家却迫不及待地原谅了他。
  爱玛:你听上去好像很妒忌他。
  奈特利先生:我确实妒忌他,爱玛。他不需要再隐瞒自己的秘密了。你不想知道我的秘密吗?是的,你很聪明,我却做不到。所以……我必须告诉你。
  爱玛:不要,请不要说出来!在你开口之前,请仔细斟酌!一旦说出口,就不能收回了!
  奈特利先生:那就依着你吧。
  (奈特利先生离开了。)
  爱玛:等等,等等!请留步!对不起。我们是好朋友,您想说……任何人的任何事,我都愿意听。我也会告诉你我的真实想法,因为我是你的朋友。
  奈特利先生:我不会……我不想做朋友!我确实需要你诚实回答。所以,请告诉我,我还能期望赢得你的芳心吗?我最亲爱的爱玛……在我心中你一直都是,将来也永远都会是……我最最亲爱的爱玛。我不擅言辞表达。若我对你的爱没有那么深,也许这些话会更容易说出口。但是你了解我这个人。我总是责备你,数落你……这世上没有第二个女人能像你这样容忍我。
  爱玛:这是真的吗?
  奈特利先生:我对你永远不会有半点假话。请告诉我你的想法吧。
  爱玛:我已经……不知道该想些什么了。

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