Rico最讨厌接到推销保险的电话了……看在他们也是打工的份上，每次总听完内容介绍再说不需要购买，又不想无情地挂掉电话，拖拖拉拉浪费很多时间。不知道同学们是否有过类似经历，总是不知道该如何拒绝他人？实际上，当别人的请求跟自己的利益有所冲突时，我们应该学会用正确的方法说“不”，这既是保护自己的权益，也是尊重自己和他人的时间。拒绝不一定是不合群，说不也可以很给力哦！
Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of[在损害……的情况下] yourself?
你是否觉得很难拒绝他人？你总是宁愿损害自己的利益也要尽量对别人好吗？
Well, you're not alone. In the past, I was not good at saying no because I didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
好吧，这么想的人不止你一个。我过去总是不太善于拒绝，因为我不想伤害他人的感受。
After a while, I realized all these times of not saying no (when I should) were not helping me at all. I was spending a lot of time and energy on other people and not spending nearly as much time on myself. It was frustrating[令人沮丧的], especially since I brought it upon myself. I slowly realized if I wanted personal time, I needed to learn to say no.
不久之后，我便意识到所有这些情况对我毫无益处——我本应拒绝却没有那么做。我花费了大量的时间和精力为别人操劳，却没有留给自己同等的时间。这让我觉得沮丧不已，尤其是因为这一切是我自己亲手造成的。我慢慢明白到，如果想有私人时间，我就得学会说“不”。
Why We Find it Hard to Say “No”
为何拒绝难以启齿？
To learn to say no, we have to first understand what we are resisting about it. Below are common reasons why people find it hard to say no:
要学会拒绝他人，我们首先要知道自己到底在抗拒什么。以下是一些人们觉得难以拒绝的常见原因：
You want to help. You are a kind soul at heart. You don't want to turn the person away and you want to help where possible, even if it may eat into[耗掉] your time.
你真心想帮忙。你是一个心地善良的家伙。你不想拒人千里，希望尽可能帮助别人，即便这会耗费你大量时间。
Afraid of being rude. I was brought up under the notion that saying no, especially to people who are more senior, is rude. This thinking is common in Asian culture, where face-saving is important.
恐被视为无礼。我在这样一个观念下长大：拒绝他人——尤其是长辈——是非常无礼的行为。这种思想在亚洲文化中很普遍，因为当地人很重视面子。
Wanting to be agreeable. You don't want to alienate[疏远] yourself from the group because you're not in agreement. So you conform to[符合] others' ideas.
希望招人喜欢。你不想因为自己与别人意见不一而被群体疏远，所以你宁愿遵循别人的意思。
Fear of conflict. You are afraid the person might be angry if you reject him/her. This might lead to an ugly confrontation. Even if there isn't, there might be dissent[异议] created which might lead to negative consequences in the future.
害怕引起冲突。你担心如果表示拒绝，对方会生气。而这可能引发不愉快的对质。即使当时并无不快，它也可能造成意见不一，给未来带来不良后果。
Not burning bridges. Some people take “no” as a sign of rejection. It might lead to bridges being burned and relationships severed.
不愿断绝退路。有些人把“不”视作拒绝。它可能导致退路尽失，关系紧张。
If you nodded to any of these reasons, I'm with you. But these are all false beliefs in our mind. It's about how you say no, rather than the fact you're saying no, that affects the outcome. After all, you have your own priorities and needs, just like everyone has his/her own needs. Saying no is about respecting and valuing your time and space. Saying no is your prerogative[特权].
如果你认同以上任何一个理由，你就和我一样。但这些都是我们脑中一些错误的想法。如何说“不”——而非你说“不”这一事实——对事情的结果影响更大。毕竟，你总会有自己的优先次序和需要，就像每个人都有自己的需求。说“不”是尊重和重视你自己的时间和空间。说“不”也是你的特权。
Seven Simple Ways to Say “No”
七种方法，简单说“不”
Rather than avoid it altogether, it's all about learning the right way to say no. It's really not as bad as you think. Other people are very understanding and don't put up any resistance. Really, the fears of saying no are just in our mind. Here are seven simple ways for you to say no. Use the method that best meets your needs in the situation.
我们应当学会正确的拒绝方式，而不是避而远之。它并不像你想象中那么糟糕。别人都非常明白事理，不会无端反抗。害怕说“不”纯粹是我们脑中的谬论。以下有七种简单方法，助你拒绝不卡壳。记得采用最符合实际情况的方式来拒绝别人哦。