无薪实习的囧相 1)Unpaid Internships
克里斯蒂安·兰德尔（Christian Lander）贴出了他的博客文章《白人们喜欢什么》（Stuff White People Like）的第一部分。之后不到两个月，他便与兰登书屋出版社（Random House）签署了出版协议，据传出版社预付了30万美元。
无薪实习，与其说是白人世界中司空见惯的潜规则，还不如说是现今竞争激烈的社会中的共同现象，听听过来人以反讽口吻大吐苦水……
Written by Christian Lander
Read by Jay
美式发音 适合泛听
So I figured Washington DC. I have an entry on unpaid internships. And I feel like there’s a battle between Washington DC and New York for the most unpaid internships in the United States combined with the highest rent. It’s a fantastic situation.
于是我统计出了华盛顿特区的数据。我这里有项关于无薪实习的条目，而我觉得华盛顿特区和纽约市似乎正在较劲，看谁才是全美地区无薪实习最多且房租最高的城市。这种情况真是棒极了。
In most of the world, when a person works long hours without pay, it’s referred to as slavery or forced labor. For white people this process is referred to as an internship and it’s considered an essential stage of white development. The concept of working for little or no money underneath a superior has been around for centuries in the form of 2)apprenticeship programs. Young people, eager to learn a trade, spend time working under a master craftsman to learn a skill that would eventually lead to an increase in material wealth. Using this logic, you’d assume that the most 3)sought-after internship would be in areas that lead to the greatest financial reward.
在这个世界的大多数地方，如果说一个人长时间工作却没有报酬，那通常指的是奴隶制度或强迫劳工。然而对于白种人来说，这一过程指的却是实习期，而且它对于白种人未来的发展还是个必不可少的阶段。在前辈的手下工作却只能拿到很少的薪水或者干脆无薪，这样的观念已经以学徒的形式存在了数百年了。那些急切地想要学成某种手艺的年轻人都会花时间在某位熟练工匠的手下工作，从而学会某种技能，以便最终能增加自己的物质财富。根据这一逻辑，你就能够推断出那些最受欢迎的实习工作往往来自于将来财富回报最多的领域。
Young white people, however, prefer internships that put them on the path to careers that will generally result in a decrease of the material wealth accumulated by their parents. For example, if you represent a white 19-year-old with the choice of spending the Summer earning $15 an hour as a plumber’s apprentice or making zero dollars answering phones in a production company, they will always choose the latter. In fact, the only way to get the white person to choose the plumbing option would be to convince him it was leading towards some sort of end of Summer pipe-art installation.
不过时至今日，年轻的白种人更喜欢的那些实习工作通常会让他们在将来走上工作岗位以后，不是增加而是减少由他们的父辈们积累下来的物质财富。比如说，如果你向一个19岁的白人提供两份实习工作让他选择，一份是在整个夏季跟着管道工做学徒，每小时能挣15美元，而另一份则是在某制作公司做无薪接线生，他们总是会选择后者。实际上，假如那个白种人选择做水管工学徒，那么唯一的可能性就是让他相信在夏季结束后他能学会某种管道装置艺术。
White people view the internship as their foot into the door of such high-profile, low-paying career fields as journalism, film, politics, art, non-profits and anything associated with museums. Any white person who takes an internship outside of these industries is either the wrong type of white person or a law student. There are no exceptions. If all goes according to plan, an internship will end with an offer of a job that pays $24,000 a year and will consist entirely of the same tasks they were recently doing for free. In fact, the transition to full-time status results in the addition of only one new responsibility: feeling superior to the new interns.
白种人将实习工作看成是他们进入那些知名度高而报酬低的行业的敲门砖，例如新闻业、电影圈、政坛、艺术圈、非营利机构及其它任何与博物馆相关的行业。任何一个接受这些行业之外的实习工作的白种人，如果不是白种人中的异类，那么就是法律系的学生。绝无例外！如果一切进展顺利的话，那么一份实习工作最终会带来一份年薪24000美元的工作，且工作的内容与他们当初无薪所做的任务完全相同。确切地说，当身份转变成全职员工后，他们只不过多了一样新职责：在新的实习生面前装前辈。
4)When all is said and done, the internship process serves the white community in many ways. First it helps train the next generation of 5)freelance writers, museum6)curators and directors’ assistants. But, more importantly, internships teach white children how to complain about being poor. So when a white person tells you about their unpaid internship at 7)The New Yorker, it’s not a good idea to point out how the cost of rent and food will essentially mean they’re paying their employer for the right to make photocopies. Instead it’s best to say, “You earned it.” They will not get the joke.
说到底，实习这一过程是为白种人社会带来了很多好处的。首先，它在下一代人中培训出了自由作家、博物馆管理员和导演助理。但是更重要的是，实习工作教会了白种人的孩子如何去抱怨自己的贫穷。所以当某个白种人向你讲述他在《纽约客》杂志里的无薪实习经历时，如果你向他们指出，其房租和饭钱实际上是付给雇主以换来影印工作权的，这是相当不明智的。相反，你最好说：“这是你赚来的机会。”因为他们是听不懂那个笑话的。
