2010年1月27日,美国作家Jerome David Salinger在位于美国新罕布什尔州的家中去世,享年91岁。他于1951年发表的The Catcher in the Rye一书被认为是二十世纪美国文学的经典作品之一。该书一经问世便风靡全球,在青少年中引起强烈共鸣,至今仍十分畅销。可以说,它极大地影响了好几代美国青年。
全书以出身美国中产阶级家庭的16岁中学生霍尔顿·考尔菲德的口吻讲述了他第四次被学校开除后在繁华的纽约城游荡了一两天的经历和感受。在这期间,他接触了各式各样的人物,其中大部分是假模假样的伪君子,看到了社会的种种丑恶。他看不惯现实社会中的人情世态,渴望人们能真诚相待,却又无力改变这种现状,只好苦闷、彷徨、放纵,最后甚至想逃离这个现实世界,到穷乡僻壤去装成一个又聋又哑的人生活。
本文节选自该书第二十二章及第二十五章。
文字难度:★★☆
You know what I’d like to be?” I said. “You know what I’d like to be? I mean if I had my 1)goddam choice?”
“What? Stop 2)swearing.”
“You know that song ‘If a body catch a body comin’ through the rye’? I’d like—”
“It’s ‘If a body meet a body coming through the rye’!” old Phoebe said. “It’s a poem. By 3)Robert Burns.”
“I know it’s a poem by Robert Burns.”
She was right, though. It is “If a body meet a body coming through the rye.” I didn’t know it then, though.
“I thought it was ‘If a body catch a body,’” I said. “Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around—nobody big, I mean—except me. And I’m standing on the edge of some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff—I mean if they’re running and they don’t look where they’re going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. That’s all I’d do all day. I’d just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it’s crazy, but that’s the only thing I’d really like to be. I know it’s crazy.”
Old Phoebe didn’t say anything for a long time. Then, when she said something, all she said was, “Daddy’s going to kill you.”
…
你知道我想做什么吗?”我说,“你知道我想做什么吗?我的意思是,要是他妈的我能做主的话?”
“什么?别骂粗话了。”
“你听过那首歌吗,《你要是在麦田里捉到了我》?我将来想——”
“是《你要是在麦田里遇到了我》!”老菲比(编者注:本文主人公霍尔顿的妹妹)说,“那是一首诗。罗伯特·彭斯写的。”
“我知道那是罗伯特·彭斯写的一首诗。”
她说的对,的确是《你要是在麦田里遇到了我》。可我当时并不知道。
“我以为是‘捉到了我’,”我说,“不管怎样,我老在想象,有那么一群小孩在一大块麦田里做游戏。成千上万个小孩,附近没有一个人——我是说没有一个大人——除了我。而我就站在那奇高无比的悬崖边。我的职责是站在那里守望,要是有哪个孩子往悬崖边奔来,我就把他捉住——我是说,如果孩子们狂奔乱跑,也不看自己是在往哪儿跑,我就得从某个地方冲出来,把他们捉住。我整天就干这事。我只想当个麦田里的守望者。我知道这想法太疯狂了,可我真的就只喜欢干这事。我知道这想法太疯狂了。”
老菲比有好一会儿没吭声。后来她开口了,只说了句:“爸爸会杀了你的。”(编者注:菲比因霍尔顿被退学而出此言。)
……
It was Monday and all, and pretty near Christmas, and all the stores were open. So it wasn’t too bad walking on Fifth Avenue. It was fairly Christmasy. All those 4)scraggy-looking Santa Clauses were standing on corners ringing those bells, and the 5)Salvation Army girls, the ones that don’t wear any lipstick or anything, were ringing bells too. I 6)sort of kept looking around for those two nuns I’d met at breakfast the day before, but I didn’t see them. I knew I wouldn’t, because they’d told me they’d come to New York to be schoolteachers, but I kept looking for them anyway. Anyway, it was pretty Christmasy all of a sudden. A million little kids were downtown with their mothers, getting on and off buses and coming in and out of stores. I wished old Phoebe was around. She’s not little enough any more to go stark staring mad in the toy department, but she enjoys 7)horsing around and looking at the people. The Christmas before last I took her downtown shopping with me. We had a 8)helluva time. I think it was in 9)Bloomingdale’s. We went in the shoe department and we pretended she—old Phoebe—wanted to get a pair of those very high storm shoes, the kind that have about a million holes to 10)lace up. We had the poor salesman guy going crazy. Old Phoebe tried on about twenty pairs, and each time the poor guy had to lace one shoe all the way up. It was a 11)dirty trick, but it killed old Phoebe. We finally bought a pair of 12)moccasins and charged them. The salesman was very nice about it. I think he knew we were horsing around, because old Phoebe always starts giggling.
那是个星期一,离圣诞节很近了,所有的商铺都开着门。所以在第五街上散步倒是挺不错的。周围的圣诞节氛围很浓。那些看上去瘦瘦的圣诞老人全都站在角落里摇着铃,还有那班“救世军”姑娘——脸上不抹胭脂也不涂口红什么的——也在那儿摇铃。我东张西望,寻找着前一天吃早餐时遇见的那两个修女,可我没看见她们。我知道我是不会看见她们的,因为她们告诉我她们是到纽约来当教师的,可我还是一个劲地找她们。不管怎样,刹那间,四周已是一片圣诞景象。上百万个小孩跟他们的母亲一起来到市中心,从大巴上上下下,在各间店铺进进出出。我真希望老菲比此刻在我身边。她不再是那种一进儿童玩具区就会高兴得“发疯”的幼稚小孩,不过她倒是挺喜欢胡闹逗乐,盯着这个人那个人看。上一年圣诞节,我曾带她到市中心一起购物。那次我们玩得忒过瘾。应该是在布鲁明戴尔百货商店里吧。我们走进鞋履区,假装她——老菲比——要买一双高筒雪地靴,那种鞋总有一堆鞋带孔要穿的。我们可把那个可怜的售货员折腾死了。老菲比试了大概二十双鞋,每试一双,那个可怜的家伙就得把鞋上的带子全穿好。这实在是种卑鄙把戏,可差点儿把老菲比笑死。最后,我们买了双软帮鞋,付了钱。那个售货员倒是十分和气。我想他也知道我们是在逗着玩的,因为老菲比总是忍不住咯咯地笑。
Anyway, I kept walking and walking up Fifth Avenue, without any tie on or anything. Then all of a sudden, something very 13)spooky started happening. Every time I came to the end of a block and stepped off the goddam 14)curb, I had this feeling that I’d never get to the other side of the street. I thought I’d just go down, down, down, and nobody’d ever see me again. Boy, did it scare me. You can’t imagine. I started sweating 15)like a bastard—my whole shirt and underwear and everything. Then I started doing something else. Every time I’d get to the end of a block I’d make believe I was talking to my brother Allie. I’d say to him, “Allie, don’t let me disappear. Allie, don’t let me disappear. Allie, don’t let me disappear. Please, Allie.” And then when I’d reach the other side of the street without disappearing, I’d thank him. Then it would start all over again as soon as I got to the next corner. But I kept going and all. I was sort of afraid to stop, I think—I don’t remember, to tell you the truth. I know I didn’t stop until I was way up in the Sixties, past the zoo and all. Then I sat down on this bench. I could hardly get my breath, and I was still sweating like a bastard. I sat there, I guess, for about an hour. Finally, what I decided I’d do, I decided I’d go away. I decided I’d never go home again and I’d never go away to another school again. I decided I’d just see old Phoebe and sort of say goodbye to her and all, and give her back her Christmas 16)dough, and then I’d start hitchhiking my way out West. What I’d do, I figured, I’d go down to the 17)Holland Tunnel and 18)bum a ride, and then I’d bum another one, and another one, and another one and in a few days I’d be somewhere out West where it was very pretty and sunny and where nobody’d know me and I’d get a job. I figured I could get a job at a filling station somewhere, putting gas and oil in people’s cars. I didn’t care what kind of job it was, though. Just so people didn’t know me and I didn’t know anybody. I thought what I’d do was, I’d pretend I was one of those 19)deaf-mutes. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody. If anybody wanted to tell me something, they’d have to write it on a piece of paper and shove it over to me. They’d get bored as hell doing that after a while, and then I’d be through with having conversations for the rest of my life. Everybody’d think I was just a poor deaf-mute bastard and they’d leave me alone. They’d let me put gas and oil in their stupid cars, and they’d pay me a salary and all for it, and I’d build me a little cabin somewhere with the dough I made and live there for the rest of life. I’d build it right near the woods, but not right in them, because I’d want it to be sunny as hell all the time. I’d cook all my own food, and later on, if I wanted to get married or something, I’d meet this beautiful girl that was also a deaf-mute and we’d get married. She’d come and live in my cabin with me, and if she wanted to say anything to me, she’d have to write it on a goddam piece of paper, like everybody else. If we had any children, we’d hide them somewhere. We could buy them a lot of books and teach them how to read and write by ourselves.
I got excited as hell thinking about it. I really did. I knew the part about pretending I was a deaf-mute was crazy, but I liked thinking about it anyway. But I really decided to go out West and all.
…
反正,我就这样沿着第五街一直往前走,没打领带什么的。就在这时,突然间,诡异的事情发生了。每次我要穿过一条街,脚刚踏离那天杀的路缘时,就总有种感觉——我永远到不了街对面。我觉得自己只会往下,往下,往下,谁也再见不到我了。嘿,我真是吓坏了。这感受你无法想象。我汗如雨下——我的衬衫、内衣,全身都湿透了。接着,我开始做另一件事。每次我要穿过一条街,我就想象着跟我弟弟艾里(编者注:艾里已去世)说话。我会对他说:“艾里,别让我消失。艾里,别让我消失。艾里,别让我消失。拜托啦,艾里。”等我走到街对面,发现自己并没消失,我就会谢他。等我走到下一个街角时,我又会从头做一遍。可我一个劲地往前走,大概是怕停下来,我想——我记不太清楚了,说句实话。我知道我一直走到六十街才停下脚步,都已经走过了动物园什么的。随后,我在这长凳上坐了下来,都快喘不过气来了,还是汗如雨下。我在那儿大概坐了有一个小时。最后,我决定了什么呢,我打定主意要远走高飞。我决定不再回家,也不再到另一个学校念书。我决定只去见老菲比一面,和她告别,把她过圣诞节的钱还给她,随后一路坐便车到西部去。我想先到荷兰隧道搭辆便车,然后再搭一辆,接着再搭一辆,然后再搭一辆,这样不过几天我就可以到达西部某个阳光明媚,风景非常优美的地方。那儿没人认识我,我会找份工作。我想我可以在一个加油站里找个工作,给人家的汽车加油什么的。不过我倒不在乎做什么工作,只要没人认识我,我也不认识他们就行了。我还会装作自己是个又聋又哑的人。这样我就可以不必跟任何人讲些他妈的没意思的废话。要是有人想跟我说什么,他们就得写在纸上递给我。用这种方法交谈,过不多久他们就会烦得要命,这样我下半辈子就再也用不着跟人说话了。人人都会认为我是个可怜的聋哑混蛋,谁都不会来打扰我。他们会让我把汽油灌进他们的傻瓜汽车里,他们会付给我一份工资什么的。我会用自己挣来的钱建一间小屋,余生就住在里面。我会把小屋建在树林旁边,而不是建在树林里,因为我喜欢屋子里一天到晚都那么阳光灿烂的。一日三餐我都会自己做,以后我要是想结婚什么的,可以找一个同我一样又聋又哑的漂亮姑娘结婚。她会和我一块住在我的小屋里,她要是想跟我说些什么,也得像别人一样写在一张他妈的纸上。我们要是生了孩子,我会把他们藏起来。我们会给他们买许多书,自己亲自教他们读书写字。
我这样想着想着,心里兴奋得要命。我确实很兴奋。我知道假装自己是聋哑人那事很疯狂,可我喜欢这样想。不过我倒是真的打定主意要到西部去。
……