The Ten Cat Commandments
1. I am the Lord of thy house.
2. Thou shall have no other pets before me.
3. Thou shalt not ever ignore me.
4. I shall ignore thou when I feel like it.
5. Thou shalt be grateful that I even give thou the time of day.
6. Remember my food dish and keep it full.
7. Thou shalt spend most of thy money on toys and gifts for me.
8. Thou shalt always have thy lap ready for me to curl up in.
9. Thou shalt shower me with love and attention upon demand.
10. Above all, thou shalt do anything and everything it takes to keep me happy.
猫之“十诫”
1、我是你房子的主人。
2、在我面前你不能有其他的宠物。
3、你永远都不能忽视我的存在。
4、只要我愿意,就可以忽视你的存在。
5、我时刻都陪着你,所以你应该心存感激。
6、要记得我的食盘,并保持它是满着的。
7、你应该倾其所有为我添置玩具和礼物。
8、你的膝盖应该时刻准备好,好让我能蜷在上面睡觉。
9、你应该对我倾注超出需要之外的爱和关注。
10、最重要的是,只要能让我开心,什么事情你都应该去做。
THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR CAT
Make the world your playground.
If you can’t get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
When in doubt, cop an attitude.
Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them.
Climb your way to the top, that’s why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, “I care”.
以猫为鉴
将世界变成你的游乐场。
如果你不能随心所欲想干什么就干什么,那就趴在键盘上直到能做为止。
当你饿了的时候,大声喵喵叫,这样他们就会给你食物让你闭嘴。
永远都能找到一处明媚的阳光打个小盹。
经常打盹。
遇到麻烦的时候,只用发出咕噜咕噜声,并做可爱状。
生活很艰难,所以你要打盹。
好奇心从来就杀不死什么东西,只可能消耗一点时间。
有疑问的时候,不要表态。
变化是一种生活情趣。有时候无视人类,有时候骚扰他们。
顺着你的路一直爬到顶端,这就是窗帘的作用。
在世界上留下你的标记,或至少在每个角落留点气味。
永远慷慨地付出:将一只小鸟或老鼠留在床上以告诉人类“我在乎”。
Rules for Cats to Live by 捣蛋猫的生存之道
BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
浴室
永远陪着客人去浴室。没必要做什么事情,只用坐在旁边盯着他就行。
DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an “outside” door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
门
不允许房间里有任何一扇门是关着的。想要门打开,用后腿站起来,用前爪拍打。一旦门开了,没必要用这招了。一旦在你的命令下“外出”的门被打开了,就半进半出状待在那里想事情。这在非常寒冷的天气、雨天、下雪天,或者蚊子肆虐的季节特别重要。
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair or bed quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, any quality carpeting is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a human’s bare foot.
椅子和地毯
如果你要呕吐了,尽快跳上椅子或床铺。如果时间来不及了,那就跑到东方地毯上。如果没有东方地毯,任何优质地毯都不错。在地毯上呕吐时,尽量边吐边后退,这样留下的痕迹就同人类光脚丫子的长度一样长了。
WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
行走
尽可能多地横冲直撞,并尽可能地靠近人类,特别是当他们抱着东西在楼梯上时,以及当他们早上刚起床光线昏暗时。这可以帮助他们练习协调能力。
BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she doesn’t move around too much.
睡眠时间
总在晚上睡在人类身上,这样他/她就不会总是到处走动。
LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
猫砂盘
当使用猫砂盘时,确保尽可能多地踢出猫砂来。人类喜欢脚趾间有猫砂的感觉。
HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
躲藏
时不时藏在某个人类找不到你的地方。在任何情况下,三到四个小时之内都不要出来。这会让人类惊慌(他们很喜欢这种感觉),以为你逃走了或者丢了。一旦你真的出来了,人类会用爱和亲吻包围你,而且你说不定能得到大餐奖励。
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, then turn around, and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don’t forget guests.
最后的想法
在任何可能的时候,靠近人类,特别是他们的脸,然后转身把屁股对着他们。人类喜欢这种做法,所以可以经常这么做。还有,别忘了对客人也这么干。
小资料:猫之趣闻
世界上第一次猫展于1871年在伦敦的水晶宫举办。
除了鼻子以外,猫能用另外一个被称为犁鼻骨的器官闻气味,该器官位于猫口腔的上颚。
在古埃及,杀猫被认为是犯罪行为,并要被判处死刑。
猫没有真正的锁骨,因此,只要猫的头部能够通过某处,其身体一般都可以挤过去。你也许见过猫小心翼翼地用头部测量通道的宽窄。
猫一天要睡16到18个小时。
大部分蓝眼睛的白猫都是聋的。只有一只蓝眼睛的白猫只有靠近蓝眼睛的那只耳朵是聋的。黄眼睛的白猫就不存在此种问题。