听力小提示:本文内容简单,语言风趣幽默,可以脱离文字先听一遍,归纳出文中提到的“四大法则”,再对照内容看看你能否抓住要点。
There’s no such thing as a reliable[可靠的] network for cell phone service in horror movies.
Woman A: There’s no signal.
Woman B: What?
Woman A: There’s no signal!
Woman B: There’s always a signal.
Actually, there’s not. Just look what happens to the family in the remake of The Hills Have Eyes. They
discover that no matter how far technology advances, no signal is just the first of four basic limitations in the horror film provider package.
Woman C: Find a signal?
Man A: No, nothing. 97% nationwide coverage and we find ourselves in that 3%.
Which brings us to the second plan limitation: cell phone battery life. It’s even shorter than your life in a horror film, especially when you’ve got chatty[饶舌的] friends, like in The Roost.
Man B: Did you try your cell phone again?
Woman D: Yeah, it’s dead. You used up all the battery when you were talking to Mike.
The third issue is more user error – as in whoops[哎哟], I dropped the phone in the toilet, pool, sink or, like in Disturbia...
Man C: I dropped my phone in his car!
And finally, the killer himself can disrupt your service plan by destroying your phone or politely knocking it into the sink, as Michael Pitt does before terrorizing Naomi Watts in Funny Games.
But these genre clichés[陈词滥调] divide
fans in San Diego’s Horror and Action
Meet-Up Group. Just ask Wayne Sherman and Dante Moran.
Sherman: Oh, I don’t have service. You had service when you driving there. But as soon as the…you know, the six-foot-nine, masked killer with an ax comes out, cell phone doesn’t work, the battery’s dying, blah, blah,
blah[诸如此类], blah, blah. And of course, there’s no charger[充电器].
Moran: Some of the clichés make it a horror film, right? You…you know, I mean, it puts you in the right…state of mind and so forth, but, sort of, you signed up for some of those things.
But maybe horror movies need to check out the service plan over at the end-of-the-world, Armageddon[末日审判] apocalypse[天启]
genre. After all, cell phone service was quite robust[结实的] in 2012. Everyone had service in that movie. Even the guy atop a mountain peak, about to be wiped out by a tsunami[海啸],
could call his friend to say goodbye. That tidal wave[浪潮] is about to wipe out all of India, but there’s still cell service. Now, if we can just find out who his provider is, maybe we can save those kids on Elm Street from a new Freddy Krueger注.
恐怖电影中的手机网络向来不太可靠。
甲女:没信号了。
乙女:你说什么?
甲女:手机没信号了!
乙女:手机总是有信号的啊。
实际上,手机不一定一直有信号。看看《隔山有眼》翻拍版中那一家人的遭遇吧。他们发现无论科技多么发达,在恐怖片附赠大礼包里,没信号只不过是四大基本法则的第一条罢了。
丙女:有信号吗?
甲男:不行,一点信号都没有。信号覆盖了美国97%的地方,而我们偏偏就在那
3%里。
这就引出了第二套餐法则:手机电池的寿命。它甚至比你在一部恐怖片中的寿命还要短,特别是当你有一些特别能侃的朋友时,譬如《夺命万圣夜》里的
情形。
乙男:你试过再打一次吗?
丁女:试了,开不了机。你光顾着和麦克聊天,把电都用光了。
第三法则更多是用户的过失——例如“哎哟”一声,我的手机掉进了马桶、游泳池、水槽或者像《后窗惊魂》这样……
丙男:我把手机落在他车里了!
最后,凶手可以干扰你的服务套餐——他会砸烂你的手机,或是很有礼貌地将你的手机扔进水槽里,就像迈克尔·皮特在《趣味游戏》里恐吓娜奥米·沃茨之前所做的那样。
可是这些惊吓套路也在(美国)圣地亚哥市“恐怖和动作影迷会”的粉丝们产生了各种不同的意见。只要问问韦恩·舍曼和丹蒂·莫兰就知道了。
舍曼:噢,我不在服务区。你开车的时候还有信号。但是一到……你知道,当那个身高六尺九寸(2.3米)、戴着面具、拿着斧头的凶手一出现,手机就失灵了,电池也快没电了,等等等等。当然了,还没有充电器。
莫兰:有些套路确实是恐怖片的要素,对吧?你……你知道,我是说,它让你产生适当的……情绪什么的,但你似乎(一看恐怖片)就会看到那些情节。
不过,也许恐怖电影需要检查一下“世界末日”、“大审判”这类天启题材中的服务套餐。毕竟《2012》里的手机服务还是挺靠谱的。在那部影片里,每个人的手机都有信号,甚至连那个站在山顶上、快要被海啸卷走的家伙也能打电话向朋友道别。那个大浪即将横扫整个印度,但手机还有信号。如果我们能查出他的服务供应商是哪一家,没准就能从新一任弗雷迪·克鲁格手中救出榆树街的孩子们了。
注:此处指的是《猛鬼街》(A Nightmare on Elm Street)的情节。这部经典恐怖片的翻拍版于今年4月公映,大受新一代影迷欢迎,目前正在筹拍续集。