文字难度：★★☆
On Mother's Day and Father's Day, we send our parents cards and flowers and gifts. We tell them we appreciate them, we tell them we love them. Then we spend the rest of the year trying to avoid them. Well, some of us try harder than others.
在母亲节及父亲节，我们会给父母送贺卡、鲜花和礼物。我们会向他们表达感激之情，告诉他们我们爱他们。然后，在一年中的其他日子里，我们会尽量避开他们。呃，有些人甚至做得更绝一点。
According to two recent 1)polls, 36% of elderly parents say their grown children have failed to help them in a time of need in the past five years. And that doesn't even include all those parents who can't remember. Perhaps poor memory is a good thing. If I'm ever an aging parent, I want to remember my children as the most loving and caring people. And if they're not, I want to forget.
根据最近的两个民意调查，36%的年迈父母称，他们的成年子女在过去的五年里没有在他们需要帮助的时候施以援手。这还不包括那些已经记不住事情的父母。或许记性差也是一件好事。如果我成了一位年迈的父亲，我宁愿记住我的孩子最深情、最有同情心的模样。而如果事实并非如此，我宁愿选择失忆。
But the only thing I'll probably forget is to put them in my 2)will.
不过，唯一一样我可能会忘掉的事情就是将他们的名字写入我的遗嘱。
Let's face it: Parents can be a pain at times. They expect so much out of you. Do this, do that, eat this, eat that, marry this, marry that. There's no satisfying them. But you have to overlook your entire childhood to 3)turn your back on your parents. There are so many reasons to be grateful to them. Here are just a few:
让我们面对事实吧：有时候父母确实让人头疼。他们对你期望太多了。做这个，做那个，吃这个，吃那个，跟这个结婚，跟那个结婚。没有一样能让他们满意。但是在你想背弃父母时，回想一下你的整个童年，有许多理由值得你去感激他们。以下所列举的只是其中一些例子：
They didn't 4)abort you. Yes, some of them easily could have, but they chose to accept at least 18 years of responsibility. Sure, you brought them lots of joy, but you also brought them lots of 5)migraines. Thanks to you, they had to invest more money in 6)aspirin than in the stock market.
他们没有选择堕胎不要你。是的，一些父母本可以很容易就这么做，但是他们却选择去承担至少18年的责任。当然，你给他们带来了许多欢乐，但是与此同时，你也给他们带来了许多烦恼。多亏有你，他们买阿司匹林的花费比投资在股票市场的还多。
They changed your diaper about 2,750 times. You may have many talents today, but for the first years of your life, your only talent was soiling a diaper. Soon after that, you developed another talent: wetting the bed. You were so good at that, they thought you'd do it for the rest of your life.
他们帮你换了大概2750次尿片。如今的你也许多才多艺，但是在你生命的最初几年里，你唯一的“才能”就是弄脏尿片。不久以后，你学会了另一种本领：尿床。你在这方面是那么在行，以致他们都以为你会一辈子尿床。
They forced you to do your homework. You preferred to watch cartoons on television, but they knew you couldn't 7)make a career out of that. Unless you ended up 8)on welfare. They encouraged you to earn good grades and graduate from school. They didn't want you to sell 9)drugs for a living, without going to pharmacy school.
他们曾强迫你做功课。你宁愿看电视卡通片，但是他们知道看卡通片赚不了钱，除非你最后靠救济金过活。他们曾鼓励你去争取高分，完成学业。他们不想你没去成药学院，却沦落到以卖毒品为生。
They lost so much sleep worrying about you, they haven't yet caught up. That's why they have to go to bed at 7 p.m. They'd have to sleep continuously for five years to make up for your 10)puberty alone.
因为替你操心，他们的睡眠严重不足，至今都还没补回来，这就是他们一到晚上7点就上床睡觉的原因。单单为了弥补因为你的青春期而导致的失眠，他们就得连续睡上五年。
They spent 11)a small fortune on you. Without you, they could have vacationed every year in the 12)Bahamas and bought a sports car—instead of that totally 13)uncool 14)station wagon. And they could have bought lots of 15)fancy appliances and furniture, items that are guaranteed to never 16)talk back or ask for 17)allowances.
他们在你身上花了一笔巨款。没有你的话，他们可以每年都在巴哈马群岛度假，还能买一部跑车——而不是那辆土得掉渣的旅行车。他们还可以购买许多高档电器和家具，以及一些保证不会顶嘴或者张口要零用钱的物品。
They were so proud of you. Why do you think they took one billion photos of you? You weren't that cute. They even 18)snapped shots of you taking a bath, as though that was some big achievement. When you took your first step, they acted like you had walked on the moon. They wanted to tell everybody, even the 19)mail carrier. When you spoke your first word, they wanted to put an announcement in the newspaper. They wanted to call 20)CNN.
他们为你感到如此自豪。你认为为什么他们会给你拍摄十亿张照片呢？你并没有那么可爱。他们甚至在你洗澡的时候拍照，仿佛这是一项巨大的成就。当你迈出第一步时，他们表现得好像你登上了月球一样。他们想要把这件事告知所有人，甚至邮递员。当你说出第一个词时，他们想通过报纸告知天下，还想打电话给CNN。
Consider yourself lucky if you have two parents or even just one. You can't replace a parent. You can't go to the store and buy one, even if you're as 21)loaded as Bill Gates.
如果你有双亲或者只有父亲或母亲，那么你应该觉得自己很幸运。你不能更换父亲或母亲。即使你像比尔·盖茨那么富有，你也不可能去商店购买一位父亲或母亲。
Parents aren't perfect, but 22)chances are, no one will ever love you the same way. Especially if you act the way you did.
父母并不是完美的。但极有可能的是，没有人会像父母那般爱你，特别是以你过去那种行径而言。
