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Shortly after my daughter Juli-Ann was born, I started a loving tradition that I know others (with whom I have subsequently shared this special plan) have also started. Every year, on her birthday, I write an Annual Letter to my daughter. I fill it with funny anecdotes that happened to her that year, hardships or joys, issues that are important in my life or hers, world events, my predictions for the future, 1)miscellaneous thoughts, etc. I add to the letter photographs, presents, report cards and many other types of 2)mementos that would certainly have otherwise disappeared as the years passed.
I keep a folder in my desk drawer in which, all year long, I place things that I want to include in the envelope containing her next Annual Letter. Every week, I make short notes of what I can think of from the weeks events that I will want to recall later in the year to write in her Annual Letter. When her birthday approaches, I take out that folder and find it 3)overflowing with ideas, thoughts, poems, cards, treasures, stories, incidents and memories of all sorts—many of which I had already forgotten—and which I then eagerly transcribe into that year’s Annual Letter.
Once the letter is written and all the treasures are inserted into the envelope, I seal it. It then becomes that year’s Annual Letter. On the envelope I always write “Annual Letter to Juli-Ann from her Daddy on the occasion of her 4)nth Birthday—to be opened when she is 21 years old.” It is a time 5)capsule of love from every different year of her life, to her as an adult. It is a gift of loving memories from one generation to the next. It is a permanent record of her life written as she was actually living it.
我女儿朱莉安出生后不久,我就开始养成了一个爱意浓浓的习惯,后来跟别人聊起自己这一特别做法,我知道有人也开始这么做了。每年,在女儿生日那天,我会给她写封“年信”。信里记录了那年发生在她身上的逸闻趣事——苦与乐,那些在我和她的生命中都占据重要地位的事,还有时事、我对未来的预想、杂七杂八的想法等等。我还在信里夹了照片、礼物、成绩单,以及许多各色各样的纪念品。要不是这样,这些东西很可能会随着岁月的流逝而踪影难寻。
我在桌子的抽屉里放了一个文件夹。而在这一整年里,我都会把想放进下一封“年信”的信封里的东西放进去。每周,对于那些我能想起的,并希望迟些在给女儿的“年信”里追忆的当周事件,我都会做简短笔记。当女儿的生日临近时,我会拿出那个文件夹,发现里面满是念头、想法、诗歌、卡片、珍宝、故事、事件,还有各种记忆——当中很多内容已被我遗忘——接着,我会急不可待地把那一切化为那年要写的“年信”里的内容。
信一写好以及把所有的珍宝都已放进信封后,我会把信封封上。然后,这封信就成为那年的“年信”了。我常在信封上写着“给朱莉安的年信——她可以在21岁时打开。她的父亲写于她某岁的生日当天”。那是一个时光宝盒,赠与成年的她,洋溢着我在她生命各个年龄阶段里对她的爱意。这宝盒充满爱的记忆,是长辈赠与晚辈的礼物。那是一份在她成长、生活之时写就的永久人生记录。
Our tradition is that I show her the sealed envelope, with the 6)proclamation written on it that she may read it when she is 21. Then I take her to the bank, open the 7)safe deposit box and tenderly place that year’s Annual Letter on top of the growing pile of its predecessors. She sometimes takes them all out to look at them and feel them. She sometimes asks me about their contents and I always refuse to tell her what is inside.
In recent years, Juli-Ann has given me some of her special childhood treasures, which she is growing too old for but which she does not want to lose. And she asks me to include them in her Annual Letter so that she will always have them.
That tradition of writing her Annual Letters is now one of my most sacred duties as a dad. And, as Juli-Ann grows older, I can see that it is a growing and special part of her life, too. One day, we were sitting with friends 8)musing about what we will be doing in the future. I cannot recall the exact words spoken, but it went something like this: I 9)jokingly told Juli-Ann that on her 61st birthday, she will be playing with her grandchildren then I10)whimsically invented that on her 31st birthday she will be driving her own kids to 11)hockey practice. 12)Getting into the groove of this funny game and encouraged by Juli-Ann’s evident enjoyment of my fantasies, I continued. “On your 21st birthday, you will be graduating from university.” “No,” she interjected. “I will be too busy reading!”
One of my deepest desires is to be alive and present to enjoy that wonderful time in the future when the time capsules are opened and the accumulated mountains of love come tumbling out of the past, back into my adult daughter’s life.
我们的一贯做法是,我给她看那个已封口的信封,信封上写着一个声明——她21岁时就可以阅读这封信。然后,我把她带到银行,打开保险箱,轻轻地把它放在那叠先前写的年信上。她有时会把所有的信封都拿出来看看,感受一下,有时会问我这些信封里装着什么,但我总是拒绝告诉她。
最近几年,朱莉安把她童年的一些独特珍宝交给了我。她觉得自己大了,不该玩那些玩意儿了,但又舍不得扔掉,所以让我把它们都放进她的年信里,那么她就可以永远拥有它们。
给她写年信的习惯如今成为了我作为父亲的神圣职责之一。当朱莉安大一些的时候,我可以看出这些信也随她一块成长着,并成为了她生命中特别的一部分。一天,我们和朋友们一块坐在那聊着未来我们可能在做的事。我记不起自己确切是怎么说的,但大约是我打趣朱莉安,说她61岁生日那天会跟她的孙子们一块玩耍,接着我还异想天开地插了一句,说她在31岁生日那天会开车载她自己的孩子去练习曲棍球。我沉醉于这个有趣的游戏,同时因朱莉安也明显沉醉在我的幻想中,于是继续说道:“你在21岁生日那天会从大学毕业。”“不,”她插嘴道,“我那天肯定忙着读你写给我的信!”
我内心最大的渴望之一是,未来,当那个时光宝盒被打开,那从过去就开始不断累积的爱向着我那已成年的女儿涌现之时,我仍能活着亲身见证那一幕,并享受那美妙的时光。
