文字难度：★★★
Success Can Be Defined in Many Ways
The newspaper I previously worked for employs a very friendly 1)receptionist. All receptionists are supposed to be friendly, but Connie Abbott has such a positive tone, she could brighten your day by saying, “Did anyone ever tell you that you look like a movie star? You ought to go to Hollywood and 2)audition for the 3)title role in a new movie: 4)The Return of King Kong.”
“A movie star?” you’d say. “Thank you so much. That’s the best compliment I’ve received since my music teacher told me I sing as well as 5)Milli Vanilli.”
I appreciated Connie’s friendliness, because I’ve encountered a few unfriendly receptionists, including one at the Indian 6)embassy in Washington D.C. who could make both 7)King Kong and 8)Godzilla 9)scamper away in fear.
During a stop at the embassy several years ago, I watched her 10)harass visitor after visitor and thought to myself, “One billion people to choose from and they couldn’t hire anyone friendlier. This woman could 11)single-h
andedly ruin India’s tourist industry. If the Indian government were smarter, they’d 12)appoint her to a new position: Director of Prisons. The crime rate would drop so fast, many politicians would lose money.”
In contrast, Connie is so pleasant that some people are willing to call the newspaper every day just to greet her and say,
“When’s my wedding picture going to appear in the paper? Hopefully before the divorce.”
Whatever they say, Connie remains friendly and polite. She’s an excellent receptionist and a true success. Yes, a success.
For some reason, we seem to 13)reserve the term “success” for people with money, 14)fame or power. But who gave them such a 15)monopoly?[1] Alan Greenspan? You don’t have to be an actor or 16)entrepreneur or software 17)whiz to be a success. Receptionists, farmers, teachers, 18)janitors, 19)homemakers, 20)plumbers can be just as successful, even if they’ve never made a single appearance on [2] Oprah.
In fact, if Oprah Winfrey invited me on her television show, I’d tell her all about it.
Oprah: “It’s my pleasure today to welcome the world-renowned expert on success, Melvin Durai, author of the new self-help book 21)I’m Successful, You’re Successful. He says he can 22)spot a successful person a mile away.”
Me: “Yes, Oprah. My clients pay me thousands of dollars to tell them they’re successful. Many of them 23)have no clue. Just the other day, I told 24)Julia Roberts that she’s a success. She was so excited, she gave me her 25)Oscar.”
Oprah: “Well, let’s talk about other celebrities. What about 26)Howard Stern, the radio shock 27)jock who has 28)offended many people with his ethnic and religious jokes? Is he a success?”
Me: “Yes, of course he’s a success.”
Oprah: “What do you mean? Don’t you think he’s an 29)idiot?”
Me: “Yes, but he’s a successful idiot.”
Oprah: “Please explain that to our audience. I can see a few confused faces.”
Me: “Well, can you think of a better idiot than Howard Stern? He’s the best idiot on the radio. He plays the role of idiot well. That makes him a success as an idiot. In fact, if we had an Idiot30)Hall of Fame, he’d be voted in 31)unanimously.”
Oprah: “What about ordinary people who don’t appear on television every day at 4 p.m. like me? Can they be successful?”
Me: “Yes, of course, Oprah. It doesn’t matter what you do—if you do it well, you can consider yourself a success. Just because you don’t have money, fame or power, don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a success.”
Oprah: “Wow! I never thought of it like that. Would you like to be a regular guest on my show?”
Me: “Really? Oh my 32)gosh. Now my mother may actually believe I’m a success.”
我以前工作的那家报社曾经雇用过一位非常友善的接待员。其实待人和善是对所有接待员的基本要求，但康妮·阿伯特总能用积极的口吻为你一整天带来好心情：“有没有人曾说你长得很像一个电影明星？你应该去好莱坞试演那部新电影《金刚归来》的主角。”
“电影明星？”你会说，“太谢谢你了。这是我的音乐老师夸我唱歌唱得像米利·凡尼利一样好以后，我得到的最好的夸奖。”
我欣赏康妮的友善，因为我碰到过一些不太友好的接待员，其中包括一位印度驻美大使馆的接待员，她的恶劣态度会让庞大的金刚和怪兽哥斯拉都仓皇奔逃。
几年前，有一次我在印度驻美大使馆逗留，亲眼目睹她“炮轰”一个又一个来客。于是我心里想：“印度有十亿人，他们就不能雇一个友善一点的人吗？这个女人单凭一己之力就能给印度的旅游业带来灭顶之灾。如果印度政府明智一点的话，他们应该给她安排另一个职位：监狱主管。这样一来，印度社会的犯罪率肯定会大幅度下降，许多政客的收入也会锐减。”
相反，康妮非常友善，以至于有人每天打电话到报社，就是为了听到她的声音：
“我的结婚照什么时候才会刊登出来呢？希望在离婚之前吧。”
不管他们说什么，康妮总是一如既往地待人友善，彬彬有礼。她是一位优秀的接待员，一个真正的成功者。对，一个成功者。
由于某些原因，我们似乎总觉得“成功”只属于有钱、有名或有权力的人。但谁给了他们独占“成功”的权利呢？艾伦·格林斯潘吗？就算你不是演员，不是企业家，不是软件奇才，你也可以是一个成功者。接待员、农民、教师、看门人、家庭主妇、水管工人，他们都可以成功，哪怕他们从未在奥普拉的节目上露过一次脸。
事实上，如果奥普拉·温弗瑞邀请我参加她的电视脱口秀节目的话，我会这样对她说。
奥普拉：很荣幸，今天我们邀请到了世界著名的成功学专家，梅尔文·杜莱，他最近出版了一本励志书《我成功，你成功》。他说他能在一里（500米）之外辨认出谁是成功人士。
我：对，奥普拉。我的客户付给我几千美元，要我告诉他们，他们是成功者。他们中许多人对于自己是否成功一无所知。就在前几天，我告诉茱莉亚·罗伯茨说，她是一个成功者。她兴奋得不得了，把她的奥斯卡小金人送给了我。
奥普拉：好了，我们谈谈别的名人吧。霍华德·斯特恩，另类的电台主持，他因为拿种族和宗教开玩笑而得罪了不少人，他是一个成功者吗？
我：是的，他当然是一个成功者。
奥普拉：什么意思？难道你不认为他是一个白痴吗？
我：没错，但他是一个成功的白痴。
奥普拉：能给观众解释一下原因吗？我看到有些观众很困惑。
我：好的。你能想到比霍华德·斯特恩更优秀的白痴吗？他是广播界最出色的白痴。作为一个白痴，他尽职尽责，表现出色。所以说，他是一个成功的白痴。其实，如果我们设立一个“白痴名人堂”的话，他肯定会全票通过的。
奥普拉：那么，那些从来没试过像我这样每天下午四点在电视节目上露脸的普通人呢？他们也算是成功者吗？
我：当然了，奥普拉。你从事什么工作并不重要，只要你干得出色，你就可以把自己看作是一个成功者。就算你没有钱，没有名望和权利，别人也绝不能说你不是一个成功的人。
奥普拉：哗！我还没从这个角度想过这个问题呢。你愿意今后经常来参加我的节目吗？
我：真的吗？哦，我的天啊！现在，恐怕我妈妈真的相信我是一个成功者了。 
