猎鹿人的自述 Hunting Deer With My Flintlock

She took me by surprise. Though I had been 2)stalking her through the dense 3)undergrowth for about 40 minutes, I had lost sight of her as the afternoon light began to fade. It was getting late and I was about ready to 4)call it a day when, just as I 5)hit the 6)crest of a shadowy 7)depression in the mountainside, I caught a glimpse of her, a beautiful 8)doe, the 9)matriarch of a small 10)clan that 11)foraged behind her. She saw me, too. Even in the spreading dusk I could see her eyes as she glared at me. She 12)stomped out a warning on the rocky ground.
她让我吃了一惊。虽然我在密集的丛林中跟踪了她约四十分钟，但随着天色愈渐昏暗，我已无从寻觅她的踪影。天色已晚，我正准备打道回府，就在这时，我发现了山边若隐若现的颈脊曲线。我瞥见了她，那是一只美丽的母鹿，一小撮鹿群的头领，鹿群正在她身后觅食。她也看见了我。即使暮色已浓，我仍能看到她注视着我的双眸。她用脚跺着岩石地面，发出警示。
I had to admire her 13)guts. I dropped to one knee, 14)fumbled in my pocket for my old brass powder 15)charger, 16)freshened the powder in my 17)frizzen, and pulled back the hammer on my 50-18)caliber flintlock. I took a deep breath and then I 19)drew a bead on her. An instant that felt like an hour passed before I squeezed the trigger. The hammer fell, the powder in the frizzen flashed, startling me even though I was prepared for it, and a heartbeat later, the whole world exploded with the thunder of 90 20)grains of black powder erupting in fire and 21)blinding 22)acrid smoke from the barrel of my gun, sending a lead ball rocketing toward the doe at a 23)lethal 1,400 feet per second.
我不得不赞赏她的勇气。我单膝跪下，一手在口袋中摸出老旧的黄铜火药弹盒，给火镰装上火药，并拉下了那杆50口径的燧发枪的击铁。我深吸一口气，瞄准了她。那刻，一秒犹如一小时般漫长，我终于扣下了扳机。击铁落下，火镰的火药被点燃，火光把我吓了一跳，尽管我对此早有准备。顷刻，整个世界在90格令（相当于5.8克）黑火药引发的轰雷声中迸裂，我的枪杆中冒出一阵火光，扑鼻而来的火药味令人晕眩，一颗铅弹从枪膛中射出，以每秒1400英尺的夺命之速飞向那头母鹿。

In the smoke and the confusion I couldn’t tell if I had hit her. And then I saw that I had. The impact of the bullet had knocked her to the ground, and as the rest of the herd 24)hightailed it over the ridge, she struggled to stand, staggered a few yards and then collapsed again. I had hoped for a clean kill. But I had failed. I knew what had happened—I had 25)flinched when the powder in the 26)pan went off. Instead of hitting her in the heart or lungs, which would have killed her instantly, I had mortally wounded her. Now I would have to finish the job.
在烟雾和恍惚中，我无法分辨我是否已命中目标。很快，我看见猎物被击中了。母鹿已中枪倒地，其余的鹿在山脊边上迅速地逃命而去。母鹿挣扎着站起来，摇晃着走了几步又跌倒在地。我本想将其一枪毙命，却失算于此。我知道原因——火药被点燃后我迟疑了一下。如果击中她的心脏或肺部，她就会立马毙命，但我只是让她受了致命的伤。现在，我要结束这一切。

I hate to kill.
我讨厌杀戮。

I know that must sound like an odd confession coming from an 27)avid deer hunter, a guy who, like thousands of others in my home state of 28)Pennsylvania, spends the better part of the year looking forward to those few short weeks in October and November, and especially to the special flintlock season that begins the day after Christmas, when I can load up my rifle and get lost in the mountains behind my home all alone. But I suspect that if you could 29)wade through their 30)braggadocio and really talk to hunters, many of them would tell you the same thing.
我知道这话从一个猎鹿狂热分子口中说出，肯定荒谬无比。在我的家乡宾西法尼亚州，成千上万的人跟我一样，一年中都盼望着在十月到十一月的这几周时间，尤其是圣诞过后的狩猎旺季，能给来复枪装上子弹，独自在家后面的山林中忘我地狩猎。但我想，如果你能看穿他们的吹嘘，与这些猎人坦诚交谈，他们很多人也许会跟你说同样的话。

For me, and I suspect for many others like me, the art of hunting is far more profound than taking 31)trophies. It’s about taking responsibility. For my needs. For my family. For the delicate environmental balance of this wounded but recovering part of the country. Biologists estimate there are now 1.6 million deer in Pennsylvania’s woods, far more than when white men first set foot there. I took up deer hunting a decade ago when I realized that this 32)staggeringly large population was 33)decimating many of our forests, forests that after hundreds of years of 34)clear-cutting 35)were at last poised to recover. Thus the responsibility for trying to restore a part of that balance fell to me. And to all the other hunters.
对我来说，我想很多人跟我一样，相信狩猎的艺术比收获猎物更为意义深远。这是负责任的一种表现。为的是我的需求、我的家庭，为帮助这片受了伤并正在恢复的国土重拾那脆弱的生态平衡。生物学家估算，目前宾夕法尼亚州的森林里有160万头鹿，远超过白人最初涉足此地时的数目。十年前我开始猎鹿，因为我意识到这个庞大的生物群正在啃食我们大部分的森林，如果这样下去，几百年后，光秃的森林将再也无法复原。因此，恢复生态平衡的责任落在了我，以及其他所有猎人的身上。

Maybe it’s because I grew up in a family that always did things the hard way, when I took up hunting, I 36)eschewed all the technological gadgets designed to give modern hunters an extra edge over their prey. I like to believe that there’s something primitive and existential about the art of hunting, and that somehow, stripping the act of hunting to its basics makes it purer.
也许是因为我从小在做事刻苦的家庭环境中长大，当我开始狩猎生涯时，我拒绝了所有让现代猎人占据优势、让猎物更不堪一击的械备。我宁愿相信狩猎的艺术中，包含着世间的原始生存挣扎，让狩猎艺术回归到本质会使其显得更纯粹。

I wanted a weapon that required more of me, one that demanded all the skill and all the planning that I could 37)muster, a weapon that gave me just one chance to get it right. I made the decision to hunt only with the most basic 38)firearm there is, a 39)muzzleloading black-powder rifle, fired by a piece of 40)flint striking cold steel. There are hundreds of us in the state. In late December we wander into the woods, usually alone, with our antique weapons and our 41)obsolete notions of what a hunt should be.
我想要一种得花更多心思、更考验实力的武器，能把所有打猎技巧策略都运用上，只能一击即中。我决定用最简单的火器打猎，那是一杆老式来复枪——从前膛入弹、使用黑火药、通过打火石撞击冰冷的钢条来点燃火药。在我们州有几百人都是这样。在十二月下旬，我们徜徉在林间——往往是孤身一人，带着我们的老古董猎枪，和对“狩猎”的过时观念。
But those antique weapons also carry with them an antique sense of responsibility. To kill with a flintlock, you must get close. And because these ancient guns are notoriously 42)balky and inaccurate, there is a very good chance that you’ll miss your target altogether or, worse, that you’ll simply wound the creature and in so doing, 43)inflict greater suffering than is necessary. And so you take every precaution to make sure that your one shot is clean, that it kills quickly and mercifully. And still, sometimes you fail, just as I did that late afternoon in midwinter when I flinched as my gun went off.
但那些老古董猎枪也承载着他们的古老使命。用燧发枪狩猎，你必须要很接近猎物。众所周知，因为这些古老的枪支很笨重，准确度也不高，所以你很可能会失准，更糟糕的是，你只是打伤了猎物，而使猎物遭受不必要的、更大的痛苦。因此，你会采取一切预防措施，确保一枪中的，快速而仁慈地让猎物死去。然而，你有时还是会失手，像我在那个仲冬傍晚那样，在开枪之际迟疑了一下。

I followed the blood trail a few yards and found her. She was still alive. I could see her breath. It was 44)ragged. She looked at me. I loaded my gun, charged the frizzen, and pulled the trigger. There was a flash in the pan—and then nothing. I tried again. Still nothing. The sun was sinking behind the ridge. I didn’t have the time or the tools with me to fix the gun—and so I laid my rifle down on the ground, pulled my knife from its 45)sheath, wrapped my arms around the wounded and frightened doe, and…I hate to kill.
我循着血迹走了几码地，找到了她。她还活着。我能看见她毫无规律的呼吸。她望着我。我装填子弹，扣上火镰，扳动扳机。枪管中闪过一丝光亮——然后什么都没发生。我又试了一次，还是不行。太阳正落向山的另一边。我没有时间，也没有工具来修理这杆枪——于是我把枪放在地上，拔出匕首，双手环抱着那头受了伤、战栗着的母鹿，然后……我讨厌杀戮。

But if I’m going to profit by death—and to some degree we all do, as even those who find the very act of eating flesh to be offensive still benefit from the 46)restorative act of responsible hunting in the nation’s wild places—then I believe I also have an obligation to do it in the most honest way possible. It has to cost me something. And it does. I would not be so 47)presumptuous as to suggest that the obligation extends beyond me. But speaking only for myself, it is 48)compelling. It’s a debt I owe the place I’ve chosen to live. And it’s why, if you’re looking for me on the day after Christmas, you’ll find me in the woods of Northeastern Pennsylvania with a flintlock rifle in my hand, and a few 49)gnawing regrets in my heart.
但是如果我要用屠戮来牟利——从某种程度上来说，我们所有人都是这样，甚至那些认为吃肉乃有辱斯文之举的人，也得益于这个国家某些荒蛮之地的狩猎义举——那么我相信，我仍有义务以最赤诚之心来履行这个责任。我要付出一些代价。确实如此。我倒又不会自以为是地要求其他人也来承担这份责任。仅仅对我而言，这是必须的，是我对自己选择生活的这个地方的一种偿还。这也是为什么，如果你在圣诞翌日找我，你会发现我手握一杆燧发来复枪，穿梭在宾夕法尼亚州西北部的森林里，并带着些许撕咬着我内心的悔意。by Seamus McGraw