文字难度：♥♥◊
A friend of mine went on vacation some time back. She had saved all of her rainy day money to go out of town and spend a relaxing quiet night at a Hampton Inn.
前不久，我的一位朋友外出度假。她把之前存着以备不时之需的钱都用来到小镇外走走，在汉普顿酒店里度过一个轻松宁静的夜晚。
When I asked her about her trip, she frowned and explained:
当我问起她的旅行时，她皱起了眉头，将这次经历娓娓道来：
Upon pulling up to the Hampton Inn, it was just a beautiful hotel. The exterior landscaping was just breath taking. She unloaded her three bags and suitcase and proceeded into the main lobby. Oh, they had an exquisite waterfall and 1)complimentary cookies and hot coffee. She was so ready to relax and enjoy her mini-vacation. When she went to check in, she 2)anted up $129.64 and paid cash. But what followed seemed a little unexpected, she was given a trash bag, a roll of toilet paper, and an 3)underarm 4)deodorant. But despite these odd 5)amenities, the desk clerk was pleasant and all she wanted to do was just lie down. Unfortunately, the hotel didn’t have an elevator and the clerk put her upstairs. As she climbed the stairs and walked towards her room, she began to smell an unexplainable odor 6)reeking from several of the rooms. She dropped her luggage at the door and opened up to what she thought would be the most serene comfortable room. WRONG! The bed looked like it had been slept in; the bathroom towels were on the floor beside an obviously used and dirty toilet. She opened the mini-fridge to find 7)mold growing on some kind of fruit that smelled so bad it took her breath away. As she looked around in dismay, she decided to leave her luggage at the door and sit down on the bed despite her utter confusion. It was at this point that she noticed several bugs coming towards her. She jumped up and pulled the covers back to find soiled 8)bed linens, and I mean someone got it in the you-know-what. The bugs were having a party and she was sure they thought she was bringing dessert. She grabbed her luggage and 9)literally ran back to the front desk. She explained to the clerk how 10)appalled she was with her room and wanted a 11)refund immediately. The desk clerk explained that the hotel owner had adopted a new “house keeping policy” and that had she read the posted sign (to her left) she would have been aware. And no, they would not refund her money.
当她的车在这家汉普顿酒店门前停下时，映入眼帘的是一家漂亮的酒店。酒店外面的景色，令人叹为观止。她从车里卸下三个箱包，然后朝酒店大堂走去。哇，这家酒店有精致的人工瀑布、免费饼干和热咖啡。她准备好了要在这里好好放松一下，享受一次小长假。登记入住时，她用现金预付了129.64美元。但接下来的事情似乎有点出乎意料：酒店的接待人员给了她一个垃圾袋、一卷厕纸和一瓶腋下除臭剂。尽管这几样东西让人觉得有点蹊跷，但酒店接待人员却非常友好，而她想要的不过是能躺下来美美地睡一觉。不幸的是，这家酒店没有电梯，而接待人员把她安排在楼上。当她爬着楼梯走向自己的房间时，她开始闻到一种不可名状的气味，这些气味从好几个房间里传出来。她把行李放在房间门口并打开了门，心想眼前的卧室一定是最宁静舒适的。但是，她大错特错了！床看起来就像已经有人睡过；浴巾就放在厕所旁边的地板上，而厕所显然是被人使用过的脏兮兮的样子。她打开微型冰箱，发现里面有某种水果已经发霉，散发出难闻的气味，简直让人窒息。失望地环顾四周，尽管困惑不已，她还是决定把行李放到门边，在床上坐了下来。就在这时，她发现几只臭虫朝她爬了过来。她跳了起来，把床罩往后拉了一下，却发现床单到处是污渍，污渍是怎么弄到床单上的，我想你们懂的。这些臭虫正在开派对，她确信臭虫还以为她给它们带来了点心。她一把拿上行李，几乎是跑着回到了前台。她向接待人员解释那房间糟糕得多么令人震惊，并且想要酒店马上给她退款。接待人员解释说，酒店老板采用了一种新的“房间打扫政策”，如果她读了张贴出来的告示（在她左方），就应该会明白这一切。所以酒店不会退款给她。
Now, obviously, she didn’t say but she did take this sign as a souvenir. This is what it read:
很显然，当时她无话可说，她之前只以为这个告示牌是个什么纪念品而已。上面是这么写的：
Thanks for Staying here at our
感谢您入住
Hampton Inn!
汉普顿酒店！
Due to our extremely high utility bills,
由于极高的酒店管理费用，
And increasing lack of reliable staffing,
以及可靠人手日益匮乏，
We here at the Hampton
我们汉普顿酒店
Have adoapted a new “House Keeping Policy.”
已经采用了全新的“房间打扫政策”。
Our housekeepers will service each and every room
我们的清洁工每周会对酒店的每一个房间
In our Hotel once a week.
提供一次清洁服务。
Every room will still have amenities, including:
每间客房仍会有如下物品提供：
Lotion, shampoo and 12)conditioner, hand soap, and now for
润肤露、洗发水、护发素以及洗手液，而现在
Your convenience a can of air freshener and Rid X 13)Lice Shampoo.
为了您的方便起见，我们还会为您提供一瓶空气清新剂和去虱洗发水。
Upon check-in, each guest will receive
入住时，每个客人将收到
A trash bag, a roll of toilet paper and an underarm deodorant.
一个垃圾袋、一卷卫生纸和一瓶腋下除臭剂。
Should your room need to have these amenities refilled,
如果你的房间需要补充这些物品，
Just give the desk a 14)buzz,
只要通知一下前台，
And they will be more than happy to give you our refill jugs for you to refill the 15)dispenser of your choice.
他们会很乐意给您送来这些物品的补充瓶，以便您能自行选择添加。
We are more than willing to get you replacement bedding and bath linens upon request if they are soiled and/or stained with foul 16)body odor (this includes bodily fluids stains that are APPARENT).
我们还乐意根据您的要求更换不洁和/或有体臭的（也包含明显的体液污渍）床上用品和浴巾，
However, you will need to provide us with proof that this is the case.
但是，您将需要为此提供实证。
We respectfully ask that upon checking out of your room
我们恳请您在退房时，
That you leave the room in the condition you found it.
使房间保持您当初入住时的原样。
Incoming guests would greatly appreciate, if
随后入住的客人将非常感激，如果
You would make their beds and spray air freshener (if you smelled the room up).
您能为他们铺床并喷洒空气清新剂（如果您的房间出现了异味）。
Please throw all of your garbage in the rear 17)dumpster, as we only spray our Inn once every six months for 18)cockroaches, ants, and bed bugs.
请把所有垃圾扔在后面的大垃圾箱，因为我们每六个月才喷洒一次除虫剂，以消灭蟑螂、蚂蚁以及臭虫。
We here at the Hampton
汉普顿酒店
Understand your growing concerns.
理解您的日益关注。
Please feel free to inquire about the guest that stayed in your room prior to your stay.
请尽管打听您房间之前住客的信息。
I would like to assure you that your stay here
我向您保证，您在这儿的停留
Will be as always,
将一如既往地，
A pleasant and comfortable stay!
愉快和舒适！
