一起上堂幸福课 Interview with Tal Ben-Shahar on Happiness

Interview with Tal Ben-Shahar on Happiness

你幸福吗？什么是幸福？怎样才能获得幸福？
这些问题，有些人穷其一生苦苦追寻，却仍找不到满意的答案。人们渴望触摸幸福，但在当今物质日益丰富的社会，幸福反而离我们越来越远，于是很多人开始迷茫、徘徊甚至抑郁——“郁闷”更是成了人们的口头禅。
也许你也曾思考过或正在思索这些问题，那么哈佛大学“红人”讲师泰勒·本-沙哈尔博士也许能够给你一些启发。这位名不见经传的哈佛年轻讲师开设的“幸福课”起先听课人数寥寥无几，后来一跃成为哈佛排名第一的选修课。这门“幸福课”何以如此神奇？下面我们就来听听这位讲师如何诠释幸福，一起揭开幸福的神秘面纱吧。

What can people do each day to be happier?
人们每天做些什么能让自己更快乐？

Tal Ben-Shahar: The first thing to do to become happier, paradoxically[自相矛盾地], is to accept painful emotions, to accept them as part and parcel of[不可缺少的一部分]…of…of being alive. You know, there are…there are two kinds of people who don’t experience painful emotions such as anxiety or…or disappointment, sadness, envy; two kinds of people who don’t experience these painful emotions. They are the psychopaths[精神病患者] and the dead. So if we experience painful emotions at time[s], it’s actually a good sign. It means that we’re not a psychopath and we’re alive. And the paradox is that when we give ourselves the permission to be human—the permission to experience the full gamut[全部] of human emotion—we open ourselves up to positive emotions as well.
泰勒·本-沙哈尔：有些矛盾的是，想要更快乐，首先要接受痛苦的情感，接受它们是人生中不可缺少的一部分。你知道，有两类人不会经历忧虑、失望、悲伤、嫉妒等痛苦的情感；不会经历这些痛苦情感的人有两种：一是精神病患者，二是死人。因此，偶尔经历痛苦的情感实际上是一个好现象，说明我们还活着，而且精神没问题。矛盾的是，当我们准许自己活得更有人性——让自己经历所有的人类情感——我们也打开了积极情感的大门。

Are there specific things people can do?
人们具体能做些什么？

Ben-Shahar: The number one predictor[预测值] of well- being[康乐], of happiness, is time—quality time we spend with our family, friends, people we care about and who care about us. And in our modern world, unfortunately, this quality time is eroding[侵蚀的]. A very…a very good predictor of well-being is what psychologist[心理学家] Tim Kasser calls “time affluence[富裕].” Time affluence is the thing that we have time to sit down and chat with our friends while…not while being on the phone at the same time or…or…or text messaging at the same time—being with that person. This is a better predictor.
本-沙哈尔：幸福与否的第一测量要素是时间——我们和家人、朋友、我们在意的人以及在意我们的人一起度过的高品质时光。不幸的是，这种高品质时光在当今社会逐渐流失。检测幸福与否的一个好方法便是心理学家蒂姆·阿塞所说的“时间充裕”。时间充裕是指我们有时间坐下来和朋友聊天，而不是一边和那个人聊天，一边打电话或者发短信。这是一个更好的预算方法。

Physical exercise contributes a great deal to happiness; in fact, there is research showing that regular exercise, three times a week for 30 to 40 minutes of aerobic[有氧健身法的] exercise—could be jogging[慢跑] or walking or aerobics or dancing—three times a week of 30 to 40 minutes of exercise is equivalent to some of our most powerful psychiatric[精神病治疗的] drugs in dealing with depression or sadness or anxiety. We’ve become a sedentary[久坐的] culture where, you know, we park our car next to our workplace or take the train and that we don’t…we don’t walk like our fore parents used to. You know, thousands of years ago the…our fore parents walked an average of eight miles a day. How far do we walk today? Well it depends where we park our car. And we pay a high price[付高额代价] for it because we weren’t made to be sedentary. We were made to be physically active.
体育运动对提升幸福感极有帮助。实际上，研究表明定期运动——也就是每周三次30-40分钟的有氧运动——可以是慢跑、散步、各种有氧运动、跳舞——每周三次30-40分钟的运动，其效果与治疗低落、悲伤、焦虑这些精神疾病最有效的药物相仿。我们形成了一种久坐的文化。你知道，我们把车停在工作场所附近或者搭乘火车，我们不像先辈们那样经常走路。你知道，几千年前，先辈们每天平均走八英里路。今天我们走多远？那取决于我们的停车地点。我们为此付出了高额的代价，因为我们生来并不习惯久坐。我们生来就好动。

How can we cultivate[培养] gratitude[感激]?
我们怎样培养感恩之心？

Ben-Shahar: There are treasures of happiness all around us and within us. The problem is that we only appreciate them when…when something terrible happens. You know, usually when we become sick, we appreciate our health. When we lose someone dear to us, we appreciate our life. And we don’t need to wait. If we cultivate the habit of gratitude we can significantly increase our levels of happiness. So, for example, research by Mike McAuliffe shows that people who keep a gratitude journal, who each night before going to sleep write at least five things for which they are grateful—big things or little things—are happier; more optimistic; more successful; more likely to achieve their goals; physically healthier—it actually strengthens our immune[免疫的] system; and are more generous[慷慨的] and benevolent[仁爱的] toward others. This is an intervention[干涉] that takes three minutes a day with significant positive ramifications[结果].
本-沙哈尔：我们周围和我们自身就有很多可以带来幸福的宝物。问题在于只有在不好的事发生时，我们才懂得珍惜。你知道，我们往往生病了才会重视健康。失去了亲人，我们才会珍爱自己的生命。其实我们不需要等待。假如我们养成了感恩的习惯，就能大大地提升我们的幸福感。因此，比如迈克·麦奥利弗的研究显示，坚持记感恩日志的人，他们每晚睡前写下至少五件值得感激的事——大事或小事——这类人会更幸福；更乐观；更成功；更有可能达成目标；这种习惯甚至可以增强我们的免疫系统，让我们身体更健康；让我们对他人更慷慨关爱。这种（心理）干预每天只花三分钟，却能收到极大的正面效果。

What happiness techniques are particularly important in today’s world?
在当今社会，哪些幸福技巧格外重要？

Ben-Shahar: One of the most important things that we can do in our modern world is to simplify[使简化], to do less rather than more. The problem is that we try and cram[填满] more and more things into less and less time, and we pay a price. We pay a price in terms of the quality of the work that we do. We also pay a price in terms of the quality of relationships that we enjoy. So doing less—such…for example, switching[开或关] our phone off for three hours when we get home, or not responding to every e-mail as it arrives, having what I call e-mail-free zones—these little things, simplifying our lives even slightly, can make a significant difference to our productivity as well as happiness.
本-沙哈尔：我们在现代社会能做的最重要的事情之一就是简化——多做不如少做。问题在于我们试图在越来越少的时间里塞下更多的东西，所以我们付出了代价。这代价体现在我们的工作质量上，也体现在我们人际关系方面。因此尽量少做——比如回到家后关掉电话三个小时，或不要每封电子邮件一来就回复，享受我所说的“无电邮时间”——这些小事能让我们的生活变得简单一些，也会大大提升我们的工作效率和幸福感。

本-沙哈尔幸福课“要点”
1．遵从你内心的热情。选择对你有意义并能让你快乐的事。
2．多和朋友们在一起。不要被日常工作缠身。亲密的人际关系是幸福感的信号。
3．学会失败。不要让对失败的恐惧绊住你尝试新事物的脚步。
4．接受自己。允许自己偶尔的失落和伤感，然后问自己，能做些什么来让自己感觉好一点儿。
5．简化生活，求精而不在多。
6．有规律地锻炼。每周只要3次，每次只要30分钟，就能大大改善你的身心健康。
7．睡眠。虽然有时“熬通宵”是不可避免的，但每天7到9小时的睡眠会使你更有效率、更有创造力，也更开心。
8．慷慨。你的钱包里可能没有太多钱，也没有太多时间，但并不意味着你无法助人。“给予”和“接受”是事情的两个方面。当我们帮助别人时，我们也在帮助自己；当我们帮助自己时，也是在间接地帮助他人。
9．勇敢。勇敢地面对生活的挫折、失败、困难；勇敢迎接挑战！
10．记录他人的点滴恩惠，始终保持感恩之心。